For many women, bringing their heart’s true expression in a moment of pain or heartbreak in a way that is “artful” or “in service of love” can feel out of reach. Often, the only thing that feels accessible is the desire to feel seen, felt, accepted, and deeply understood, which isn’t always met. You want to be able to express your heart’s truth as love, but you are unsure how when you feel unmet.

This feminine practice, led by Erin Kinney, Ali Kegley Kole, and Nicholette Routhier for the 2020 Embodied Women's Relationship Immersion, guides you through an embodied experience of the three stages of self-expression inspired by David Deida's three stages and John and Kendra Cunov's progression from Selfish, to Healthy, to Sacred. You will work with a recent interaction with a current or past partner that brought up stong feelings for you.

If you want to honor your desire to be seen while also learning how to express your heart’s truth in a way that would create more love in any moment, this 22-minute practice will give you a powerful structure to explore.

Prior to your practice, prepare a comfortable and private practice space, such as a mat, rug or sheepskin, that will allow you to relax and move your body freely with your eyes closed. Also prior to your practice, prepare a 20-minute playlist and set aside an uninterrupted period of time in which you can stay in practice the entire time. You will be guided to begin your music at the beginning of the recording, and then you will start on your hands and knees.

Below are the songs used during the live practice if you would like to follow along with the playlist:

"Blood of Earth" by Deya Dova
"Alfa" by Mop Mop
"Tabla Breath" by Benjy Wertheimer, John De Kadt
"Magnolia" by Luke Howard
"All in Here" by Emancipator

Begin by allowing your head to drop below your heart and start to connect with the earth. Bring awareness to your breath. Close your eyes and move in a way that feels good in your body. Dig your paws into the earth. Connect with the soft belly of the earth and where it lives in your body. Then begin to find the pulse of the earth through your body, and the vibration that moves through all things. Find how it moves through your spine. Then find the weight of your heart and breathe deeply to amplify where you feel it in your body, while still feeling connected to the pulse of the earth.

Then bring to mind some interaction with a current or past partner that brought up some feelings for you. Start with your feelings from a Selfish place - the part of you that has needs and wants that are about you and only you. Drop into your heart and feeling body to inquire what this Selfish part of you wants. Feel the part of you that wants to be seen, known, noticed, desired, accepted, and praised. Give yourself the full permission to fully feel this Selfish version of you - your desire to be expressed and to take up space. Move in a way that says, "See me," "Feel me," "Love me," "I need you." What sounds might you make if you give yourself the full permission to express how much you want to be seen, filled up, met and loved? No need to leave room here for anybody else. Give sound, movement and breath to the part of you that needs.

Now begin to move into the Healthy part of you. The one who has needs, but also has awareness, concern and care for others. Feel into, honor, find and express through movement, breath and sound this Healthy you who is able to modulate for another person. Feel yourself holding both your own needs, and the needs & preferences of others, without losing your own preferences. Me and You. Us. We. This is the part of you that knows deep compassion, empathy, and care; and whose heart touches and kisses another's heart. Heart to heart in true union. "I see you," "I feel you," "I hear you," "I honor you."

Drop one more level deeper into the Sacred expression of your feeling. Explore how LOVE wants to move through you. Let your expression of the feeling be given by what would open and create the most love in this moment. Experience pure movement, breath and sound given by love itself. What would love do? Would love twerk? Pound? Scratch? Hiss? Skip? Twinkle their fingers? Aside from anything that you want, or that the other wants, what does love want? 

Allow yourself to notice the part of you that might want to be witnessed in this, and accept and honor that part too. The inkling of desire to be seen can be fuel for love to express. Healthy regard for others will allow you the capacity to be the sacred expression of love. The more space you create within yourself for all of these feelings, the more space there is for love. Feel all three stages in the last few minutes. All the feelings - the desire to be seen and known, how much space you have for others, and the impulse for love to move through you - allows for this love that you are to flow, expand and express.

Disclaimer: Although anyone may find this practice to be useful, it is made available with the understanding that we are not engaged in presenting specific medical, psychological, emotional, sexual or spiritual advice. Nor is anything in this practice intended to be a diagnosis, prescription, recommendation or cure for any specific kind of medical, psychological, emotional, sexual or spiritual problem. Each individual has unique needs and this practice cannot take these individual differences into account. Each person should engage in a program of treatment, prevention, cure, or general health only in consultation with a licensed, qualified physician, therapist or other competent professional. Any person suffering from a sexually transmitted disease or any local illness of his or her sexual organs should consult a medical doctor and a qualified instructor of sexual yoga before practicing the sexual methods described in this practice.