Most of us have long-formed ways that we close our hearts. It can be difficult to cultivate a felt sense of the difference between a closed and open heart, especially when you are only beginning to become aware of your habitual closures. You want to learn how to fully express your truth with an open heart, but you are unsure where to begin.

In this feminine practice led by Nicholette Routhier and Ali Kegley Kole for the 2021 Embodied Women's Relationship Immersion, you will experience the felt difference between embodying your Yes and No with an open and closed heart, and express through the archetype textures of Queen, Gopi, Teenage Brat, Seductress, and Goddess.

If you want to expand your capacity to express your truth with an open heart, start with this 25-minute practice.

Set aside an uninterrupted period of time in which you can stay in practice the entire time. Prior to your practice, prepare a comfortable and private practice space, such as a mat, rug, or sheepskin, that will allow you to relax and move your body freely with your eyes closed.

Begin in any position that is a Full Yes to you. Then allow yourself to relax into that position. Soften. Release any tension that might be holding you back from relaxing. You might find that there are some No's that come - "Not like that" - and honor them by shifting into a new position that you can fully relax into, fully let go, and fully embrace this position of Yes.

From here, begin to deepen your breath. Let that deep breath allow you to soften and relax even more, especially along your front body—your belly, the space around your solar plexus, your heart, your throat, and your jaw. Then maybe let out a sound as you're relaxing. Let go of any thoughts and anything that came before this moment that's holding you back from relaxing into this Yes. Continue to honor the No's and shift your position if it doesn't feel quite right anymore.

Then begin to fill this position with some movement. Yes movement. Movement that feels really good. Movement of pleasure. Movement of ease. Maybe it's gentle or subtle at first. Or maybe it's quite vigorous, like a shake or stomp.

Open as Yes. Breathe, move, and let out sounds that feel good, that feel Yes, all the while honoring the No's. Notice where these Yes's and No's live in your body. How do you know if you're feeling a Yes or No?

Then bring your attention to your heart. First, just notice your heart. Maybe give it a little massage with your fingertips. Then gently invite your heart to open. Is there a movement or a sound that would help your heart to open a little more? It's like you're calling your heart open, breathing your heart open. Maybe you offer your heart a whisper, "Can I feel you a little bit more?"

Then, just for a moment, allow your heart to close. Get familiar with your own closure. How does it feel? Maybe you close it partway. Then breathe it wide open again. If it's hard to feel the opening, that's okay.

From this sweet, open-hearted place, begin to feel your Yes again. Feel how it lives in your body and longs to be expressed, not just in this posture, but in your life. What are you an open-hearted Yes to? Let your body find the shape of your open-hearted Yes. Do your arms open wide? Does your head lift? Does your chest open? Do you lie down on the ground like a snow angel? Let the shape of your embodied Yes fill with breath.

When you feel like you have found the open-hearted Yes, the breath of Yes, the movement of Yes, and perhaps the sound of Yes, let it fill your space. This is your Yes.

Now, perhaps experiment with closing your heart. Maybe you feel a Yes you gave, but didn't mean, or a Yes you gave too soon. It might be painful to revisit, but try this for just a moment, to train your body and heighten your sensitivity to the difference between your open-hearted and close-hearted Yes. What is the shape of your close-hearted Yes?

Then taking that close-hearted embodied Yes, what if you sprinkled in the energy of a Teenage Brat? A little extra flavor to the Yes you didn't want to give, but gave anyway. Maybe you stamp your foot or stick out your tongue.

Then keeping Teenage Brat, and keeping your Yes, practice opening your heart. Can you give your Yes as Teenage Brat with an open heart? Moving and breathing with that energy of open-hearted Teenage Brat, perhaps you even say Yes. Turn up the energy of your Yes.

Now let go of Teenage Brat and bring the energy of Gopi—light-hearted and empty-headed. Let your mental space empty out and let yourself fill with effervescent light. Let it fill your heart and let your body take the shape of Yes. Maybe you bounce. Maybe you skip. Maybe even say Yes with the energy of Gopi. Let it light you up and fill your room, and beyond.

Now take a moment to return to relative stillness with your natural open-hearted Yes and bring your open-hearted Yes as your Queen—the Yes that rises, elevates, and serves. How does your Queen speak Yes? Perhaps she only gives a nod. Express your open-hearted Yes through your body as your Queen. Then, for a moment, try closing your heart a little and see how different that feels. Your close-hearted Ice Queen Yes. Educate your subtle body on this distinction.

Then give yourself a shake to shake off that closed heart.

Now find again the shape of your embodied No. Begin by finding a No with a bit of a closed heart. Maybe try saying No out loud from this embodied closed-hearted shape. Where do you feel the No in your body?

Then, without losing the shape of your No, begin to open your heart. Maybe you bring your fingertips to your heart and welcome its opening like a sun rising in the morning.

Now, find your open-hearted Embodied No with the energy of Seductress. Pour your open heart through your No and through your body as your particular Seductress. Maybe you say it out loud, maybe you whisper it, or maybe you speak it in another tongue. Feel the power of this seductive, open-hearted embodied No expressed through your body and sound; how you can be magnetic.

Keeping your open heart, now return to the shape your neutral embodied No. Then feel into the No's you have not given. Let yourself go into the ache and sadness of the No's that were not given. Letting your heart blossom open, can you embody the yearning, the grief of the No's you never said?

Keep your heart open. It's easy to collapse here. Let yourself free something with this movement. Let the giving of the energy in this moment free, purify, and transmute the No's not given, as you move them through your body and your sound.

When you're ready, express your No through your body with a wide, open heart as Queen. Imprint your space with the Queenly No. Do you put your hand out? Do you gesture? Do you stand tall? Do you strut? Then, just for a moment, play with closing your heart and give your No as an Ice Queen with a closed heart. Feel the difference between a powerful No with a closed heart and with an open heart. A strong No in both cases. Find your power and your wisdom in your No. Trust your own No and let your trust express through your movement and sound. Say your No out loud.

Then let go of your Queen. Perhaps give a little shake and return back to that neutral state.

Now take the shape of your unique Goddess form. Do you have huge wings? Do you have fur or claws? Are you on the earth? Above the earth? Deep in the core of the earth? Now offer your No as your Goddess with a wide, open heart. Maybe you sprinkle the world with glitter as you shine your Goddess No. Maybe it's like a rainstorm and you douse the world with your No. Maybe your No is a cheer and you jump up and down with your Goddess pom poms. Do you sing your No? Do you dance your No?

Press your No out to the world and give your No as a gift. Your No is for the Awakening. Let every No be an expression of love, and an expression of your unique Goddess form.

Then, slowly, without losing your Goddess form, bring yourself back to a standing or seated position, anchoring all of the No's and Yes's in your body.

Then relax the No's and Yes's and just be, for a moment, in this Goddess shape, your heart radiating as the Goddess that you are. Bring your hands to your own heart and offer yourself compassion and love for when you didn't say No, when you said No with a closed heart, or when you said Yes and you didn't mean it. Allow the practice to wash through you, freeing you, and transmuting all of that into all of the No's you will say in the future, as Queen, as Brat, and as your Goddess. Take a breath into that commitment and offer yourself a bow to end this practice.

Music:
"It was 9:30 and You Were Beautiful" by WMD
"End of Sky" by Hang Massive

Disclaimer: Although anyone may find this practice to be useful, it is made available with the understanding that we are not engaged in presenting specific medical, psychological, emotional, sexual or spiritual advice. Nor is anything in this practice intended to be a diagnosis, prescription, recommendation or cure for any specific kind of medical, psychological, emotional, sexual or spiritual problem. Each individual has unique needs and this practice cannot take these individual differences into account. Each person should engage in a program of treatment, prevention, cure, or general health only in consultation with a licensed, qualified physician, therapist or other competent professional. Any person suffering from a sexually transmitted disease or any local illness of his or her sexual organs should consult a medical doctor and a qualified instructor of sexual yoga before practicing the sexual methods described in this practice.