You and your partner value self-expression. You want to create a relationship dynamic in which you can both feel safe holding and expressing your deepest heart’s truths, but you are uncertain where to begin.

In this practice originally led by John and Nicholette Routhier for virtual participants of the June 2020 Art of Spiritual Intimacy Online Weekend Immersion, you and your partner will practice holding space for one another's heartfelt yearnings - the Masculine yearning for freedom, and the Feminine yearning for love. You will complete with a deep forgiveness practice.

If you want to learn how to create a safe container for holding and revealing your deepest yearnings, this 23-minute partner practice is a powerful place to start.

This is a very vulnerable practice, so before you begin, verbally agree to one another that you are a Yes to holding space for the embodied expression of each other's pain, and that you will "play full out" by not holding back from one another.

Set-up your space by putting some kind of divider along the floor—a line of pillows, a rug, a scarf, a piece of string—to create an energetic break in the room.
You will stand facing your partner on either side of the divider.

Masculine partner, you're going to use your whole body, including sound, to reveal and show your Feminine partner the depth of anguish and yearning you have for complete freedom in your life. You will show them all of the ways you are burdened by constraint and trapped by the world.

Feminine partner, you will hold space and witness your Masculine partner's expression. Stand with your arms down by your side. Ground your feet fully and press your legs into the earth. Soften your belly and heart. You are holding space for the deepest pain that your partner has been carrying their entire life.

Masculine partner, begin with your eyes closed and tap into the part of you that feels trapped and constrained, like a caged animal. Move around and let your body start to express your desire to be free of worry and demand. Make a sound of the pain and anguish of not being free. Then slowly open your eyes and for one minute, make your whole body the expression of this desire to be free. Feel it fully and let your partner see & hold it with you. Then slowly bring your body to stillness with your arms at your sides.

Feminine partner, feel how deep this yearning goes; how everything they've done in their life has been to be free in some way. This is rarely acknowledged, so let them be seen for a moment, and honor how difficult and vulnerable this may have been for them.

Masculine partner, let your Feminine partner feel "I just want to be free." Then begin to say it out loud, "I just want to be free," and feel how deep that pain goes in your heart. After a minute of this, with your hand on your heart, give a deep bow to your partner for holding space for this pain.

Now, Masculine partner, ground your legs into the earth and deepen your breath, so that you can hold space for your Feminine partner's yearning.

Feminine partner, close your eyes and feel the part of you that aches for more love. Allow your body to take the shape of that desire. Begin to move in a way that expresses that desire - to be ravished, opened, taken, led, fully claimed and met. Feel the desire pouring open from your heart. Feel the part of you that has been shredded by love and the deep ache within you that has never been quenched. Move it through your body and let out a sound. Make your whole body an expression of this deep ache.

Then open your eyes and let your Masculine partner feel this part of you. Give it all for one minute. Splay your arms out and make your entire body a beg, from your womb spilling out through the top of your head, "Please, more love! All I ever wanted was love!" Drop to your knees and reveal the broken-hearted, wrecked part of you.

Then slowly relax the practice, but don't break eye contact. Let your partner feel the front of your body very soft. Let them feel, "I just want more love." Then begin to say it out loud, "I just want more love."

Masculine partner, breathing deeply, grounding yourself and looking into your partner's eyes, be a Yes. "This is so beautiful. Thank you for trusting me with this." Hold the space for their pain and vulnerability.

You will spend the final few minutes of the practice standing, looking into one another's eyes, and offering forgiveness.

Masculine partner, you will say, "Please forgive me. I forgive you. Let's forgive ourselves."

Feminine partner, receive this for a moment. Then repeat back, "Please forgive me. I forgive you. Let's forgive ourselves." Spend a few minutes going back and forth in this way.

Then say, "I love you. Thank you for loving me." Go back and forth a few times with that. Practice letting go of history.

Then close your eyes and feel how this love radiates out into the past, to every love you've ever had, and to your parents.

You will complete by brushing down your body to clear any chords that are attached to you from the practice. Then you will take three deep breaths, raising your arms in the air on the inhale, and releasing them down on the exhale. On the final exhale, you will say, "I set you free."

Music: "Dhan Baba Naanak" by Simrit and "Heroes" by Peter Gabriel

Disclaimer: Although anyone may find this practice to be useful, it is made available with the understanding that we are not engaged in presenting specific medical, psychological, emotional, sexual or spiritual advice. Nor is anything in this practice intended to be a diagnosis, prescription, recommendation or cure for any specific kind of medical, psychological, emotional, sexual or spiritual problem. Each individual has unique needs and this practice cannot take these individual differences into account. Each person should engage in a program of treatment, prevention, cure, or general health only in consultation with a licensed, qualified physician, therapist or other competent professional. Any person suffering from a sexually transmitted disease or any local illness of his or her sexual organs should consult a medical doctor and a qualified instructor of sexual yoga before practicing the sexual methods described in this practice.