The Charge of Sacred Masculine Leadership - Part Eight
For the Masculine : Teachings
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24m
You are a man who is dedicated to sacred masculine leadership and you’re looking for a comprehensive guide to take it to the next level—to deepen your embodiment practice, sharpen your purpose, and become more trustable to your intimate partner.
In this compilation of teaching sessions from the 2020 Embodied Men's Leadership Training, John describes what it takes to train your nervous system capacity to lead from your embodied sacred masculine.
If you’re looking for a one-stop-shop to uplevel your masculine leadership, dive into this 10-video compilation.
You'll learn:
- John's perspective on the three stages of leadership as defined by David Deida
- The First Stage of leadership comes from what you want based on something you don't like in your life
- There is a difference between impulsive leadership and the kind of leadership that emerges from the feelings you often avoid
- Almost every decision we make is because we want to feel something or avoid feeling something
- Healthy leadership often involves conversation, negotiation, or bartering
- People pleasing is a great example of trying to create a Second Stage solution to the feeling of not being good enough
- It's important to become aware of where you are leading from and how you are leading
- As we try to elevate our capacity to lead from a place of not wanting to feel something, it takes massive amounts of awareness
- Sacred leadership emerges through the honoring of what is
- In sacred leadership, you become a full Yes to whatever is happening in the moment while also feeling your own needs until the next move emerges
- Your desire to eject or numb out is an impulsive reaction to a feeling, like fear or hopelessness
- We often make decisions based on our lack of capacity to stay in something and we call that "action," "strategy" or "leadership" vs training ourselves to stay in the feelings and be a Yes to what is
- We create brighter and deeper possibilities every time we let a new moment emerge from the honoring the fullness of the present moment
- The moment you start thinking, you're popping out of the feeling, but whatever comes out of going into the feeling will be a deeper leadership
- If we slow down enough to feel what is emerging, the depth from which we make decisions will be much more profound
- Iron Shirt Qi Gong is about connecting the inner body to the outer body
- The antidote to fear is Qi (energy)
- Qi Gong teaches how to cultivate energy and focus it to ground & elevate your mind and emotions
- With focused practice, you can step into relationship from being full with the nourishment of the earth and The Great Feminine, rather than stepping in malnourished or depleted
- Rooting, Presence, Depth, Staying with the Truth of Your Heart etc. are skill sets that take consistent training and practice
- One of the Essential Masculine practices is to root into the core of your heart and then be with chaos fully
- You can practice resting into the stillness at core of your heart and feeling out into the chaos of the world while sitting on a park bench
- Each masculine archetype has a shadow side
- In order to be nourished and stay out of perpetual exhaustion, you have to enter a space of no demand regularly
- Fear is normally a self-centered emotion; when it comes to leading and making decisions, by grounding and feeling out, we can dissipate the emotion and move forward with clarity
- Another way to work with fear is to touch it fully
- We are responsible for the state that we bring to every moment
- Oftentimes, when we're anxious, it is because we are out of integrity with some part of our heart, soul, or truth
- Part of getting into integrity with your truth is becoming ruthless honest with how you are not aligned with it
- Making decisions from a place of feeling everything, grounding, getting still, and letting leadership emerge is much more trustable than leadership from impulse
- In every trigger, there is a gift; the trick is in the awareness and discernment between the two in any moment - this will determine whether you are relating consciously or unconsciously
- How you can provide structure for connection in your relationship with your feminine partner
- How you can hold your own pain and share it with your partner with meticulous structure in your body
- If you practice enough, you will cultivate the capacity to have a different experience
- If you want to change your destiny, you have to elevate your body
- You can deepen your practice by recognizing that it is about more than you
- We create our lives based on our beliefs about the ways in which the world occurs to us
- Our bodies take the shape of our Occurring World beliefs; they become the prism through which we see the world
- We didn't choose our beliefs; they came to us through childhood programming
- As an adult you can choose which beliefs you want to keep or change
- Before creating a men's group, get clear about the group's intent (i.e. leadership, brotherhood, spiritual practice, etc.), purpose, and values
- Logistical pieces of structure are important to set before creating a group
- Why breath is central to embodiment practice
- The more you practice, the more you will have to draw from as a leader when the moment calls for it
- A meticulous container and practice will create structure for leadership
- How you can honor your own heart by creating structure around the impulse of your heart
- How you can create space in your day to ask the question, "What is the deepest impulse that I need to honor?"
- How you can hold space with an equal amount of feeling and awareness
- A practice to work with the balance of contentment and the impulse to do more
- Feeling productive comes from doing what feels good
- Ways to approach outcome from the standpoint of what feels good
- Using the simple question, "What do I need to do today to die complete?" clarifies your purpose for any given day
- The capacity to do nothing is a skill that is sorely needed by most men
- Doing nothing meticulously is a place of regeneration
- How you can bring love and feelings to a person you are no longer in a relationship with
- Tibetan Buddhists claim that enlightenment comes through feeling the ache in our hearts
- Contrary action (doing the opposite of your habit) is a way of shifting the karma in your relationships
- The importance of creating containers to hold and honor your own feminine
- Practicing the energetics of polarity will expand your capacity to bring them during intimate moments with your partners
- These energetics, or "chords" as David Deida refers to them, come through the body
- Unwinding your habits and making deeper parts of you more available in your every day life comes from "reps" and practice
- There is a tipping point when these energetics go from being states to traits, and that takes time and practice
- How you can bring 10% heart-connected Dark Lover energy to open and enliven your partner
- How heart-connected, consensual dark energy can actually be a nutrient for the Feminine
- This requires sensitivity to the subtle flow of energy in your body and your partner's body such that you notice when they stop breathing or tighten—that's a No
- Without that sensitivity, we also miss openings and opportunities to go deeper
- Becoming sensitive to the flows of your own energy is the first step in becoming sensitive to your partner's energy
- Becoming sensitive to the flows of your own energy is the first step in becoming sensitive to your partner's energy
- Dark sexual play won't work without trust
- What we touch fully dissolves, so touching beliefs and feelings fully that have been limiting you will bring you freedom
- Every time we generate a story around a feeling or belief, it's because we don't want to feel the real pain underneath it
- A Warrior's practice is to feel, and then from there, lead
- Ultimately, the deepest presence is a blend of Masculine and Feminine
- The essence of emotional integrity is feeling the yearning beneath your story of burden
- The practice to flip your karmic patterning is to give the thing you crave most to yourself first, and then to another, in the way they can receive it
- In order to give that thing to yourself, you need to meet your own needs while also meeting your partner's needs
- Creating a container to let yourself feel your emotions will be more grounding than suppressing your emotions
- Rigidity is a closure; Feminine practice opens your capacity to be with more energy and expression, of others and your own
- You can't make the choices to lead your life powerfully from a malnourished place, so it is important to become a stand for your and your partner's the nourishment
- How to discern the difference between a need, which is legitimate and true to your own heart, and a desire, which is an impulse from an unmet childhood wound
- Being with the need in the depth of your heart without judgment creates more trust and availability for love in your relationship; from that space, you can connect with your partner's need in order for something to emerge to meet both of your needs
- If you are with your own need, you don't feel needy
- The more we decide to carry, the more we need to cultivate the capacity to receive nourishment
- If you are struggling to feel grief, think of receiving grief
- Boundaries can be healthy, but they can become rigid if they are only protections of wounds
- There is a time to be rigid and a time to flow
- one way to practice flow is to become a Yes to everything that comes your way
- In a relationship that is complete, you can still open to the love that is there
- If we weren't taught about needs as children, we need to figure them out now as adults
- Part of taking responsibility for our emotional states is to take responsibility for our own needs
- It's important to be with your needs without judgment towards others in your life
- Shared reality is not the realm of the Feminine
- Language is important in order to get us to the truth of our hearts and needs
- There's a beautiful gift in being with and owning your needs without grasping for them to be met; and it's magnetic to our partners
- Needs can change over time
- If you have a need that cannot be met, you can express your need in way that honors the other's need, without it having it to look different and without making a demand
- You can feel whole in an unmet need by meeting it fully yourself
Disclaimer: Although anyone may find this video to be useful, it is made available with the understanding that we are not engaged in presenting specific medical, psychological, emotional, sexual or spiritual advice. Nor is anything in this video intended to be a diagnosis, prescription, recommendation or cure for any specific kind of medical, psychological, emotional, sexual or spiritual problem. Each individual has unique needs and this video cannot take these individual differences into account. Each person should engage in a program of treatment, prevention, cure, or general health only in consultation with a licensed, qualified physician, therapist or other competent professional. Any person suffering from a sexually transmitted disease or any local illness of his or her sexual organs should consult a medical doctor and a qualified instructor of sexual yoga before practicing the sexual methods described in this video.
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