Office Hours Group Coaching Call, May 7th
1h 30m
What does it mean to be in Devotion to Love?
There are 3 pillars to Sacred Intimacy. 1. Intimacy. This is when we recognize the human and divine in each other and how we are one. 2. Devotion to Love/Nervous System. This Requires a choice to return to love over resentment and judgment etc. 3. Sexual polarity. This is the spark that is created by difference.
When we seek devotion we are seeking to remove clutter. They don't need to be different to love them. Can we love them just as they are? Our need or desire for them to be different rarely changes the needle
It all comes back to practice and your body - love, devotion, claim, etc. If you are not practicing you are not attuning your body to all of these things and more.
Book Recommendations -
Terry Real - Fierce Intimacy (audio book only)
David Deida - Way of The Superior Man
John Wineland - From the Core
Topics/Questions Discussed:
We have done the work and so many past resentments have cleared, almost as if it's all gone. But with this new space, a blank slate, what do we do, where do we go from here?
John - We release what we learnt from our parents - now that it's gone, it's going to feel unfamiliar - because it is. Now you get to create the kind of love you want from here. If you could create the relationship of your dreams, what would that look like? What kind of relational culture do you want to create?
Repair work is the foundation of the sacred intimacy - upon which the new temple can be built.
Practices:
She who must be ravished and he who must be trusted:
Heart invitation heart penetration:
The Art of Giving Theory:
https://johnwinelandstreaming.vhx.tv/deepen-your-sexual-connection/videos/07-the-art-of-giving
The Art of Giving Practice:
This section has a lot of practices for partners:
https://johnwinelandstreaming.vhx.tv/partner-practices
I moved in with my partner really quickly and at the same time is when things got really rough.
John - when we move in together it activates old family stuff (mom/Dad) . What expression and conversation is in deep service of love? Secure attachment is built in repair. Not in the absence of rupture.
Practices:
Step by Step Guide to Repair Past Hurts and Resentments:
Imago Dialogue
https://johnwinelandstreaming.vhx.tv/repair-past-resentments/videos/imago-intentional-dialogue
Here is where you are right Example
Masculine Feminine Polarity - how can he show up in a good way for himself and his partner?
John - Real honesty about how he is feeling in the moment - is this serving us? Is it devotional to our relationship? Hold space for her relationship to herself and space for the relationship. Put yourself in the space of your own practice and depth. In doing so you take the pole of the sacred masculine. Love her without chasing her as best you can. Share with her from your depth. Share your heart in 2-3 sentences and then let it go. Lead her to clear resentment and judgements. “Choose a woman who chooses you”
4. I very naturally occupy the masculine but also have a lot feminine energy - I want to drop more into the feminine and not hold it all.
John - Where specifically where does she want to drop it? In intimacy? Planning etc? If he's in flow - you get into a deeper flow of love and pleasure and embodiment and feeling. We are always evoking more from each other. Turn up the magnetism - the other pole turns up naturally. How can you become an invitation to be filled by his depth? She who must be filled with depth?
Practices:
Awakened Devotional Queen Practice
https://johnwinelandstreaming.vhx.tv/feminine-practices/videos/awakened-devotional-queen
Root of Your Heart, Pulse of the Earth and the expression of your desire
Sea Kelp:
https://johnwinelandstreaming.vhx.tv/videos/sea-kelp-2-final
Feminine Pleasure practice:
https://johnwinelandstreaming.vhx.tv/videos/fem-pleasure
Anger Practice:
https://johnwinelandstreaming.vhx.tv/feminine-practices/videos/marching-anger-practice
3 year relationship that is dissolving but he doesn't necessarily want it to end - Confusion about where he is, and where to go in relation to attachment, codependency, trauma and how he has shown up.
John - Do you want to claim her? NO. If you are not choosing her from that place, she has nothing to hold on to, so she is going to wave. Reconciliation crucial
Dance of needs - Wife is sensitive to the air quality needs in her city.. John asked him a while back - could you make an extra $100,000 to have another place for her to go? How to create the structure for that?
John - Making more money and finding her a place to live is being devotional to your love. Go to her and say “we have some extra money” I want to set something up for you. I want us to schedule out how to escape the bad times here so you feel taken care of - co-create it with her. When we uplevel, more money and more opportunity has come.
Different cultural backgrounds and Flipped polarity.
John - How does he not show up in his masculine - from his perspective. Talk about the cycle of the women - remain calm and not jump on the train. At what point does it feel like he can't hold it anymore? Your devotion to love helps her empty. When we take radical responsibility it allows us to let go of. Sacred intimacy starts when we don't need anything to be different.
Practices:
Pelvic Floor Breath Practice
Expand your Feeling Body, Become Wide as the Desert
Breath of Fire and Ego Eradicator:
https://johnwinelandstreaming.vhx.tv/masculine-practices/videos/breath-of-fire-and-ego-eradicator
Clear your Field, Connect To Your Core:
Morning Masculine Practices for Grounding and Centering:
Embodied Grounding Breath Practice:
https://johnwinelandstreaming.vhx.tv/videos/grounding-breath-practice-1